Are You A City Slicker Or A Country Bumpkin?

So, what’ll it be? A life out in the country with fresh air and home-cooked meals? Or do you prefer big city life, replete with all the modern cultural delights? Take the quiz to see where you belong!

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Question 1/30

If you go to a bar and it’s seven bucks for a beer and twelve bucks for a cocktail, you…

Order a drink! This place is cheap!
Are you kidding? I get the hell out
I find the owner… and punch him square in the face

Question 2/30

And where do you wanna get your fruits and veggies from?

The supermarket
My neighbor

I'll just grow my own!

Question 3/30

When you’re driving around you’ll probably see a tractor OR a trailer, but what are the odds that you’ll see a tractor AND a trailer on the same trip?

1:1
1:5
1:10
1:Never

Question 4/30

How do you get around town?

I drive
Cabs/Uber
Public transit
Bike
I walk a lot
Tractor

Question 5/30

You’re invited to a potluck at a friend’s house, what’re you bringing?

Alcohol
A homemade casserole
Something exotic
A veggie tray I picked up at the supermarket
Dessert… always dessert

Question 6/30

Time to eat! Who do you want preparing your next meal?

Professionally trained chefs
Food truck folk

Fast-Food Employees
Someone's Grandma

Question 7/30

Which view would you prefer waking up to each morning?

Ah... the city!
Gorgeous mountains

Fertile farmland
A vibrant ethnic neighborhood

Suburbia!

Question 8/30

What kind of animals do you own?

Cats
Dogs
Birds
Reptiles
Varmints
Livestock

Question 9/30

What are you most likely to see in your nearest “downtown” area?

Empty storefronts
Crazy traffic
People
A murder

Question 10/30

How often does the pastor see you in church?

Almost never
Sometimes
Every Sunday
A few times a week

Question 11/30

What's your idea of a traffic jam?

Too many cars
Too many cows

Question 12/30

Ever been mugged?

Yep. I don’t recommend it!
Nope

Question 13/30

Where are you guaranteed to see your neighbors?

At the grocery store
On my porch… if I’m barbecuing
At church
At Friday’s football game

Question 14/30

Which interior home decor do you prefer?

Modern, but a little homey
Ultra-modern and sleek

Country style, nice and homey
Your grandma's living room

None of these... yuck...

Question 15/30

When was the last time you mowed your own lawn?

What’s a lawn?
I have people for that
Yesterday… and I mowed my neighbor’s lawn, too!

Question 16/30

And what's your idea of a fun Saturday night?

Clubbing
Rocking

Getting drunk with the locals
Just you, your truck, and the open country

Falling asleep on the couch

Question 17/30

What thought makes you feel more lonely?

Too many people I don't know, all in the same place!
Empty road that stretches for miles and miles with no people in sight!

I don't want either!

Question 18/30

What is the FFA?

The Future Farmers of America
The folks who regulate airlines
The folks who regulate TV and radio
Who cares?

Question 19/30

How much time do you spend in the great outdoors?

Most of the time
Not as much as I’d like
What’s the outdoors and why is it so “great?”

Question 20/30

And if you do happen to get back to nature, what do you do?

Go to the beach
Camp, hunt, fish… the usual stuff
Glamp
Tan

Question 21/30

Which sort of architecture do you find most pleasing to the eye?

Country estates
Modern skyscrapers

Old urban neighborhoods
Old shacks in the middle of nowhere

Shopping malls with big sales

Question 22/30

Where do you do most of your clothes shopping?

Places like Nordstrom or Macys
Wal-Mart
Target
Tractor Supply
Wherever there’s a sale!

Question 23/30

City dwellers and country folk alike enjoy some... "unique" dishes. Which of the following exotic foods would you most like to dig into?

Pickled pig's feet
Escargot

Roadkill sandwich
I wouldn't try any of this crap!

Question 24/30

What’s the “other white meat?”

Pork
Squirrel
Tofu

Question 25/30

When someone says, “Let’s go swimming” what do you picture?

A shimmering pool and a mojito
A shimmering ocean and a boogie board
A shimmering river and a beer
A shimmering lake and a rope swing

Question 26/30

How many guns do you own?

None
1-5
5-10
None of yer damn business, Fed!

Question 27/30

How often do you see your extended family (aunts, cousins, etc.)?

Almost never
Occasionally… like holidays
Pretty often
Damn near every day

Question 28/30

You’re out at a restaurant, what non-alcoholic drink do you order?

Sweet tea
Soda pop
A glass of water is fine
Bottled water is better
A kale and beet smoothie with a shot of acai juice

Question 29/30

What's your idea of expanding your cultural horizons?

Visiting a museum or gallery
Attending a play or other performance

Eating out at the local Chinese buffet

Question 30/30

Which of these do you love most about where you live?

The people
The slow pace
The fast pace
I just love the vibe