Are You A City Slicker Or A Country Bumpkin?
So, what’ll it be? A life out in the country with fresh air and home-cooked meals? Or do you prefer big city life, replete with all the modern cultural delights? Take the quiz to see where you belong!
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Question 1/30
If you go to a bar and it’s seven bucks for a beer and twelve bucks for a cocktail, you…
- Order a drink! This place is cheap!
- Are you kidding? I get the hell out
- I find the owner… and punch him square in the face
Question 2/30
And where do you wanna get your fruits and veggies from?
-
The supermarket
-
My neighbor
-
I'll just grow my own!
Question 3/30
When you’re driving around you’ll probably see a tractor OR a trailer, but what are the odds that you’ll see a tractor AND a trailer on the same trip?
- 1:1
- 1:5
- 1:10
- 1:Never
Question 4/30
How do you get around town?
- I drive
- Cabs/Uber
- Public transit
- Bike
- I walk a lot
- Tractor
Question 5/30
You’re invited to a potluck at a friend’s house, what’re you bringing?
- Alcohol
- A homemade casserole
- Something exotic
- A veggie tray I picked up at the supermarket
- Dessert… always dessert
Question 6/30
Time to eat! Who do you want preparing your next meal?
-
Professionally trained chefs
-
Food truck folk
-
Fast-Food Employees
-
Someone's Grandma
Question 7/30
Which view would you prefer waking up to each morning?
-
Ah... the city!
-
Gorgeous mountains
-
Fertile farmland
-
A vibrant ethnic neighborhood
-
Suburbia!
Question 8/30
What kind of animals do you own?
- Cats
- Dogs
- Birds
- Reptiles
- Varmints
- Livestock
Question 9/30
What are you most likely to see in your nearest “downtown” area?
- Empty storefronts
- Crazy traffic
- People
- A murder
Question 10/30
How often does the pastor see you in church?
- Almost never
- Sometimes
- Every Sunday
- A few times a week
Question 11/30
What's your idea of a traffic jam?
-
Too many cars
-
Too many cows
Question 12/30
Ever been mugged?
- Yep. I don’t recommend it!
- Nope
Question 13/30
Where are you guaranteed to see your neighbors?
- At the grocery store
- On my porch… if I’m barbecuing
- At church
- At Friday’s football game
Question 14/30
Which interior home decor do you prefer?
-
Modern, but a little homey
-
Ultra-modern and sleek
-
Country style, nice and homey
-
Your grandma's living room
-
None of these... yuck...
Question 15/30
When was the last time you mowed your own lawn?
- What’s a lawn?
- I have people for that
- Yesterday… and I mowed my neighbor’s lawn, too!
Question 16/30
And what's your idea of a fun Saturday night?
-
Clubbing
-
Rocking
-
Getting drunk with the locals
-
Just you, your truck, and the open country
-
Falling asleep on the couch
Question 17/30
What thought makes you feel more lonely?
-
Too many people I don't know, all in the same place!
-
Empty road that stretches for miles and miles with no people in sight!
-
I don't want either!
Question 18/30
What is the FFA?
- The Future Farmers of America
- The folks who regulate airlines
- The folks who regulate TV and radio
- Who cares?
Question 19/30
How much time do you spend in the great outdoors?
- Most of the time
- Not as much as I’d like
- What’s the outdoors and why is it so “great?”
Question 20/30
And if you do happen to get back to nature, what do you do?
- Go to the beach
- Camp, hunt, fish… the usual stuff
- Glamp
- Tan
Question 21/30
Which sort of architecture do you find most pleasing to the eye?
-
Country estates
-
Modern skyscrapers
-
Old urban neighborhoods
-
Old shacks in the middle of nowhere
-
Shopping malls with big sales
Question 22/30
Where do you do most of your clothes shopping?
- Places like Nordstrom or Macys
- Wal-Mart
- Target
- Tractor Supply
- Wherever there’s a sale!
Question 23/30
City dwellers and country folk alike enjoy some... "unique" dishes. Which of the following exotic foods would you most like to dig into?
-
Pickled pig's feet
-
Escargot
-
Roadkill sandwich
-
I wouldn't try any of this crap!
Question 24/30
What’s the “other white meat?”
- Pork
- Squirrel
- Tofu
Question 25/30
When someone says, “Let’s go swimming” what do you picture?
- A shimmering pool and a mojito
- A shimmering ocean and a boogie board
- A shimmering river and a beer
- A shimmering lake and a rope swing
Question 26/30
How many guns do you own?
- None
- 1-5
- 5-10
- None of yer damn business, Fed!
Question 27/30
How often do you see your extended family (aunts, cousins, etc.)?
- Almost never
- Occasionally… like holidays
- Pretty often
- Damn near every day
Question 28/30
You’re out at a restaurant, what non-alcoholic drink do you order?
- Sweet tea
- Soda pop
- A glass of water is fine
- Bottled water is better
- A kale and beet smoothie with a shot of acai juice
Question 29/30
What's your idea of expanding your cultural horizons?
-
Visiting a museum or gallery
-
Attending a play or other performance
-
Eating out at the local Chinese buffet
Question 30/30
Which of these do you love most about where you live?
- The people
- The slow pace
- The fast pace
- I just love the vibe