Let's start simple: What's the capital of Illinois?
And, of course we must ask the obligatory pizza question: Brooklyn style, Chicago style, or something else altogether?
- Something else
While we're on the subject, what are your thoughts on putting ketchup on a hot dog?
- Sounds great!
- Who cares?
Why is it called "The L"?
- It takes you down "Lower"
- It's short for "Elevated"
- It's the nickname for the "Last" train
Ah... Illinois weather. Have you ever been forced to turn on the heat and the AC on the SAME day?
- That sounds ridiculous to me
- Yep... we get all kinds of weather here!
Would you be able to explain what the “lake effect” is to someone from say... Arizona?
- Has something to do with jet-skis, right?
- It's what drives the property prices around lakes so high!
- It's the tendency for locals to tell tall-tales about monsters living in lakes
- It brings snow. And it sucks.
True or False: All things considered, Chicago might as well be its own state.
- True, it's totally different
- I don't see much difference, to be honest
- All things considered, Illinois is one of the most diverse states in the country... Therefore, Chicago fits right in, too!
Have you or a loved one ever suffered the indignity of being referred to as a “FIB” by a worthless Cheesehead?
- Sure I have. But I spit it right back at em.
- I have no idea what you're talking about
- I'd rather be a Cheesehead than a FIB!!!
- Whatever... Why would I care what someone from Wisconsin thinks?
Do you call it a "soda", a "pop", or a "coke"?
- I've heard it called all of the above! We get all types in this state!
Speaking of soda, pop, or whatever you wanna call it... are you familiar with this brand?
- Of course!
- WTF is this?
True or False: When giving directions from one place in Illinois to another place in Illinois, at least one street, road, town, park, or other landmark MUST be named Lincoln.
- Yes, of course!
- Now that you mention, I guess his name does come up from time to time, eh?
- I don't know what you're talking about
Finally, we just have to ask: When viewing the classic film, "Ferris Bueller’s Day Off", does your heart swell with pride as Cameron is slowly won over by Chicago's many charms?
- Of course! I love that movie
- To be honest, I'd rather watch paint dry for an hour and a half than tool around Chicago with a young, snotty Matthew Broderick
- I haven't seen the movie, but I DO love movies set in Illinois... Blues Brothers anyone?
- I feel wholly indifferent toward the state of Illinois as a setting for anything