If you make it to 100 years old, you will...
- No chance. You'll be lucky to make next week.
- Cry every night over long-lost loves.
- Skydive head-first from a 747.
- Only eat at restaurants with a sizeable senior discount.
- Be the smartest grandparent at book club.
You get fired from the megafirm you founded. You...
- Accept it. Now you can finally take those adult education classes you've been eyeing.
- Smile, shake hands, and come back the next day with a machete.
- Email dirty pictures of your boss to all your ex-coworkers.
- Start a better, bigger company in the skyscraper next door.
- Have a mental breakdown and call every relative who was at that reunion.
Your dream house is...
- An apartment in the heart of the city.
- A castle in the clouds. Guarded by griffins.
- An RV.
- A treehouse in the forest where you'll never have to see another person ever again.
- A bungalow in a quiet beachfront community.
While introducing your significant other to your parents, s/he lets out an ear-splitting belch. You...
- Send him/her home immediately. It is SO over.
- Pull your partner aside and demand that s/he apologize this minute.
- Pretend it was Fido again. Oh, Fido, always so burpy.
- Belch louder.
- Ignore it. Your parents are a little deaf, anyways.
A friend is ordering a pizza. You order...
- Red pepper.
- Cheese. You don't eat animal.
- Just get anything, and you'll pick off the gross stuff later.
It is the night before your interview for that amazing job you've always wanted. You...
- Can't sleep a wink.
- Set four alarms and go to bed after dinner.
- Practice flirting in front of your full-length mirror.
- Go out. The interview's tomorrow, but the party's tonight.
- Iron your polka-dot tie.
What do you do for exercise?
- Does eating count as exercise? Like, for the jaw?
- A few sit-ups or jumping jacks when you wake up.
- You go to the gym after lunch. And after breakfast and dinner.
- Run a marathon before class starts.
You need money--fast. You...
- Check the trees--sometimes it grows there.
- Sell your clothes and kitchen appliances door-to-door.
- Quickly invent a vacuum cleaner and film an informercial.
- Steal it from your roommate's piggy bank.
You meet a guru on a mountain, and he grants you one question. You ask him...
- What's the secret to success?
- Is Tupac still alive?
- Where can I find a guru who grants more than one question?
- How can we create a peaceful world?
- Where on earth did I leave the remote?
Your favorite movies are...
- Campy 80's B-flicks that no one else has heard of.
- Cheesy, sweet romantic comedies.
- Big-budget comedies starring famous actors.
- Epic action blockbusters.
- Deep, provocative independent dramas.