The closest you can get to having a kid without HAVING a kid is getting a dog, right? Which breed do you choose?
- Golden Retriever
- Bearded Collie
If you have a son, you hope he grows up to be...
- The founder of a tech startup
- A businessman with a stable job
- An athlete, preferably a star quarterback
- The lord of his domain, who takes orders from no one and marches to the beat of his own drum
The country you're most likely to visit on vacation is:
- I don't really travel outside the country
- Canada or Mexico
- Somewhere in the UK
Which of the following baby food flavors would you reach for first at the grocery store? (If only they were real.)
- Grits 'n gravy
- Mutton and pheasant
- Tofu and kombucha
- Starbucks peppermint latte and blueberry scone
Which important skill will you pass on to your son?
- How to file taxes
- How to fish with a shotgun and a bag of military surplus grenades
- How to hold his alcohol
- How to wear the same shirt over and over without stinking
The music you're most likely to listen to at home is...
- I can't tell you; then that band won't be cool anymore
- Whatever's popular right now
- Pan flutes and chanting
The historical figure you admire most is:
- It's a tie between Eberhard Anheuser and Adolphus Busch
- King Richard the Lionheart
- Stevie Nicks
- FDR was the man
How would you react if your son threw a fit at the store, begging you to buy him a toy?
- I would tell him no. That's not the way you get what you want in life.
- I would embarrass him publicly. He is a disgrace to my name!
- Store? No, we live off the land.
- A toy? Put that back and get a video game instead!
What would you say to your son after getting into a fight at school?
- Did you win?
- Did you break your iPhone?
- Here, put some organic cottonseed oil on that black eye, it will feel better in a jif
- Are you OK?
You just found $10K in the dumpster at work. Score! What do you buy?
- I would put it into a college savings fund for my son
- I think I could use another swimming pool made out of beer cans
- Google Glass
- The finest wine and an extravagant feast for all of my closest friends