Are You A Hawk Or A Dove?
A scary spider has built a web across your bedroom doorway. What do you do?
- Scream for backup
- Attack the web with a broom
- Attack the web AND the spider with a broom
- Bring the spider outside and wish it the best
A friend says that you look "healthy," meaning that you have gained weight. What is your response?
- Not mailing them a holiday card this year
- Cry and try to make them feel bad
- Comment that they look "healthy" too
- Graciously thank them and discuss the weather
You are in line at the grocery store. A new line opens up and the person behind you sprints to it. What's your reaction?
- I sigh and say "oh well"
- I go postal ("go grocery" in this case)
- I curse under my breath, making sure they hear me
- I complain to the other shoppers around me
You are in the fast lane when the person in front of you is driving really slow. What do you do?
- I pressure them by tailgating
- Politely travel in slow motion behind them
- Pass them in the other lane
- Lay on my horn or flash the high beams
You pick up your dog from the groomer and discover they have given your dog a bad haircut. What do you say?
- Inform them I did not authorize this and refuse to pay
- Ask what happened to my old groomer
- Announce my dog will be switching to their competitor
- Smile and thank them for the good job
You discover a friend is dating your ex. What's your response?
- The friend is now an ex-friend, in life and all social media
- I wish them both well, perhaps they can find the happiness my ex and I didn't
- I laugh, content they'll make each other miserable
- I make sure through my network of friends they learn awful things about each other
Just as you are pulling into the seeming last parking spot on Earth, someone slides into it in front of you, though it is obvious you've been waiting for this spot. How do you react?
- I drive on, perhaps the universe intended me to pay for an expensive parking garage
- I open my window to ensure they hear my stream of expletives
- I take a picture of their license and post it on Instagram #thief
- I key their car while they are in the grocery store
You are at a pro ball game when the guy next to you jostles you to catch the fly ball coming your way. What do you do?
- I jostle him back and the guy behind me catches it
- I hope the camera's on it and the guy's outed as a jerk
- I jostle him back, catch it and give it to his wife
- I let him do it, it clearly matters more to him
- I demand he give me what it would go for on Ebay
Imagine you are at a toddler beauty pageant when someone else's kid shoves your little princess. How do you react?
- I recognize that both kids are tired and cranky and politely mention the incident to the little brute's mom
- I shove the other kid's mom
- I encourage my princess to push the little girl back, then feign innocence
- I insist the brat be dropped from the pageant for unsportsmanlike behavior
You are dining at a restaurant when your entree arrives. Problem is, it is not what you ordered. What do you do?
- I leave no tip, never come back, and destroy them on Yelp
- I politely mention it to my server
- I announce I am allergic to the dish and threaten to sue
- I embrace the opportunity to try new things