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What Famous Mustache Are You?
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Question 1/10
Why do you love a mustache?
- It saves my food for later
- It's damn sexy
- It smells like man
- It keeps spiders out of my mouth
- It's as expressive as a ballet dancer
- It's the foundation of freedom
Question 2/10
Suppose for a second you're a circus performer. What are you?
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A lion tamer
-
A clown in a tiny car
-
A trapeze artist
-
An acrobat
-
A human cannonball
Question 3/10
You're in the bar, what does your mustache taste like?
- Vodka
- Beer
- Milk
- Denim
- Scotchy-scotch-scotch
- Whisky and sawdust
Question 4/10
What is your mustache's ride?
-
A testosterone-fueled pickup truck
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A Trans Am with an eagle on the hood
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A Pontiac Catalina with velvet seats
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A Ferrari painted "Fiery Red"
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A Pierce Arrow, of course
-
A station wagon with sweet paneling
Question 5/10
What do you wear when you take your mustache out on the town?
-
A lovely Hawaiian shirt
-
A cowboy hat and belt buckle
-
A proper suit
-
Something... flannel
-
Something... polyester
-
Nothing sets-off a 'stache like a sweater vest!
Question 6/10
When you find yourself enraptured by a new love, do you consult your mustache?
- Of course. The mustache knows best!
- Periodically, as the relationship develops
- No, the mustache is inert and holds no advice
- Never, the mustache can be vindictive
- Love really isn't my thing... except for my love of the mustache
Question 7/10
What do you call your mustache?
- Reagan
- Sex Panther
- Speed Racer
- Stitchity-Stachitty
- My best friend
- Nothing. I'm afraid it might answer.
Question 8/10
What is your life's quest?
- To find the goodness in the world
- To find the meaning of the world
- To find the humor in the world
- To confront the evils in the world
- To invent an even better spork
Question 9/10
Simple question: Manscaping, yes or no?
- Yes, a healthy lawn requires maintenance
- No, I prefer the bordeline madness look
Question 10/10
Lastly: Shaving a mustache is ______
- Wrong
- Really wrong
- Incomprehensibly wrong
- A mortal sin
- Punishable by death
Calculating Result...
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About This Quiz
No wispy-thin peach fuzz for you! You roll with a full-on bearskin lip-warmer that makes the ladies swoon and the men jealous… and the other way around! So take this quiz, hirsute warrior, and discover which famous mustache you are!
