Let's say you have a pest problem in your house, what do you do?
- I call an exterminator
- I call my significant other every time I see one
- I handle it myself
- I hatch an elaborate plot to exact my revenge
- I move out and burn the house down
Ever been in a fight?
- No, I abhor violence!
- No, but I've caused a few
- Every weekend!
- A few, back in the day
- I don't think you can call what I do fighting
Are you a social butterfly or more of a lone wolf?
- Social butterfly for sure
- Lone wolf without question
- It depends on how I feel
- It depends on if I've taken my medication
Your boss claims your work as their own and gives you no credit, what do you do?
- Go over their head and claim my work
- Deal with it, that's just what bosses do
- Stand up to them
- Quit! Screw them!
- Quietly fantasize about dropping an anvil on their head
You finally get a vacation! Where are you going?
- I'm pretty domesticated, I'll just stay at home
- Somewhere on the water
- Somewhere hot
- Somewhere cold
- Somewhere with beautiful people and a great party scene
- I never know, I always seem to miss that turn in Albuquerque
Are you generally the pursuer or the pursued in a relationship?
- The pursuer, I know what I want and I go for it!
- The pursued, I love the game!
- I can be both... sometimes in the same night!
- Neither, I tend to let things happen naturally
- Relationships bore the heck out of me
When you dream, you dream of ________.
- Sheep, I have a hard time sleeping
- Making out with a cutie, doesn't everyone?
- Food, doesn't everyone?
- I never remember my dreams
What is your least favorite chore?
- Doing laundry
- Washing dishes
- Cleaning the bathroom
- Yard work
- Paying bills
- Maintaining my cache of explosives
Veggies or meat?
- I'm all about the veg
- Tough choice, I love them both
- Why isn't ice cream a choice?
- Yeah... sportsball really isn't my thing
Which of these is your favorite ACME product?
- ACME Dehydrated Boulders
- ACME Explosive Tennis Balls
- ACME Do-It-Yourself Tornado Kit
- ACME Jet-Propelled Pogo Stick
- ACME Earthquake Pills
How would you describe your sense of humor?
Pick a classic cartoon practical joke!
- The “Hot-Foot” Trick
- The “Replace-the-Birthday-Candles-with-Dynamite” Trick
- The “Paint-a-Wall-Like-It’s-a-Tunnel” Trick
- The “Fill-an-Entire-Room-with-Mousetraps” Trick
- The “Put-a-Spring-Loaded-Boxing-Glove-in-a-Birthday-Box” Trick
To get what you want, you use…
- My natural charm...
- My natural deviousness
- My natural genius
- My natural beauty, of course
Duck Season or Wabbit Season?
- Duck Season!
- Wabbit Season!
- Oh no, bub! You won’t catch me falling for that one again!
- Is there a Squirrel Season?
Which one of these would make you a perfect cartoon character?
- My voice
- My ears
- My personality in general!
- My teeth
- My eyes
If you were the Abominab-b-b-le Snowman, what would you do with a pet?
- Pat him and pet him
- Hug him and squeeze him
- Rub him and caress him
- Name him George
Somebody makes a move on your significant other! What do you do?
- Probably just ignore it
- Take the fast boat to Punchytown
- Just watch and laugh
- Have a “little conversation”
What would you do if you ran off a cliff into a giant canyon?
- Stop, turn around and scramble back to the cliff
- Stop, hover, fall and then get hit by an anvil
- Stop, hover, hold up a sign that says, “Yikes,” then fall
- Stop, hover, then fall
Which of these do you find yourself daydreaming about?
- Having sex while asleep and working on a traveling food truck
Are you the type to hold a grudge?
- Never. Life’s too short.
- Not really, but it depends
- Oh, hell yes I am!
How would you describe where you live?
- “In a van… down by the river”
What’s your favorite part of the day?
- Quitting Time!!!
How would you describe your best friend?
- Short. Very short.
- As a real smart-ass
Finally, pick a catchphrase for your tombstone!
- “That’s All, Folks!”
- “I’ve Had All I Can Stands, I Can’t Stands No More!”
- “And Now, Here’s Something We Hope You’ll Really Like!”
- “Oh My God, They Killed Kenny!”
- “And I would have gotten away with it too, if it weren't for you meddling kids!”