By BrainFall Staff - Published: May 24, 2024
The feeling of opening up to someone else can be terrifying. Being vulnerable and honest about what is most affecting you can be so tough.
Why would you want to relive your trauma by talking about it? It may just feel like it’s easier to keep it all inside. But doing that will put a wall up between you and your loved ones.
There are plenty of emotionally unavailable people, and their unwillingness to open up can affect relationships in their lives. Not only does keeping everything inside affect your own feelings and your mental health, but it can also make you an emotionally unavailable partner.
An emotionally unavailable person can feel closed off in critical moments. Emotional unavailability can be a symptom of a traumatic event in the past. But it can also be by choice.
For a serious relationship to turn into a healthy relationship, there needs to be openness and trust. Emotionally unavailable people tend to suffer in long-term relationships. Maybe you’ve noticed that in your own life.
Do you think you’re an emotionally unavailable person? We can tell you for sure. Take this quiz to find out!
If you've asked yourself the question, "Am I emotionally unavailable," you might be. Understanding your emotional unavailability is the first step toward fixing it.
If you've ever felt closed off or wanted to open up but can't seem to, you may be emotionally unavailable. When you're trying to build emotional bonds with someone else, you want to be open with them about everything.
To sustain emotional bonds, you need to keep that connection open. It will help your well-being and mental health.
People who have emotionally unavailable partners can struggle with emotional intimacy. Romantic relationships won't ever get as deep as they can without the emotional connection.
Past relationships can affect current ones because of trauma suffered in those relationships. To be at the top of your emotional availability means that you're true to yourself and your partner.
Am I Emotionally Unavailable?
Ever been on a date and thought you might be partaking in an intense staring contest with a brick wall? Yep, we've all been there. The chances are good that this not-so-chatty Kathy was emotionally unavailable. And now you're here, probably wondering, "Are we emotionally unavailable, too?" Don't worry; we're all friends here, and it's not like we're carving these things in stone. But let's face it, realizing you're about as open as a high-security bank vault isn't just an "oops" moment. Emotional unavailability is the real deal in the world of commitments and relationships.
So, what exactly plants us solidly on the ground of emotional unavailability? Think of it like this: If our hearts had status updates, yours would always read, "It's complicated." But seriously, you might have a VIP list of reasons as to why you'd rather watch paint dry than dive into your feelings. Maybe it's fear of commitment, past relationship potholes, or just a preference for playing things cool—we're not here to judge. We're just here to help you figure out if you're the human equivalent of an "Out of Service" sign when it comes to emotions. Don't worry, it's a judgment-free zone, and we promise, it's going to be more fun than sorting your sock drawer.
Spotting the Signs: Is Your Partner a Relationship Robot?
Ever feel like you’re sharing your deepest thoughts with WALL-E instead of a partner? Well, strap in, because we're about to decode the beep-boops of a partner's emotional motherboard.
More Than Just a Poker Face: Unpacking Emotional Distancing
If your significant other has a toolbox where their heart should be, you might spot emotional distancing as the first tell-tale sign. You know what we’re talking about – they're more evasive than Houdini at a family reunion. Weekend plans, life goals, or simply how they felt about that movie with the sad puppy might all get a shrug or a “it’s cool.” Lists won't cut it here; we're dealing with an emotional Rubik's cube.
- Sign 1: They treat vulnerability like it’s contagious.
- Sign 2: Their "feels" are locked in a vault tighter than Fort Knox.
Silent Treatment Isn't Just a Cold Remedy: Communication Shutdowns
Communication is the salsa to the nacho of relationships – without it, things are just dry and disappointing. If your chats are as one-sided as a ping-pong match with a mannequin, hello, red flag! The silent treatment is their fortress of solitude, leaving you outside, in the rain, without an umbrella.
- Sign 1: They have an allergy to the 'how was your day?' dance.
- Sign 2: 'Talking about feelings' is like inviting them to a surprise dental appointment.
Buckle up, BrainFall cadets! The signs are laid out like bread crumbs in a fairy tale, leading us to the gingerbread house of truth. Quieter than a mime and more evasive than a polished politician? Tick and tock. We've got ourselves a potential emotional robot. Now, don't go throwing your partner overboard just yet; maybe they're just a little lost in the motherboard. Or, maybe it's time to hand them a map back to Planet Emotion. Ready for more revelations? Keep on snooping with us to find out!
Why So Serious? Understanding the Emotional Fortress
Imagine your heart's got more walls than a super-fancy, high-security celebrity mansion. Yep, we're diving into the realm of emotional unavailability, where feelings are as elusive as a compliment from that cat who just judges you silently.
Not Just a Bad Day: Patterns of Emotional Unavailability
It's not about having an off day, folks. When we're talking emotional unavailability, we're dealing with a consistent pattern. That's a rigorous routine of keeping emotions at arm's length, much like that one gym buddy who counts every calorie but never shares their fries. We see:
- Consistency: Dodging emotional closeness like it’s a dodgeball championship.
- Rigidity: A stubborn resistance to sharing the mushy stuff that fuels connection.
It's Not Me, It's Definitely You: Attachment Traumas and Fear
We’re not pointing fingers, but sometimes past traumas dictate the present. A heart that's been through the ringer might find solace in turning colder than a penguin’s picnic. Here's the scoop:
- Attachment traumas: Like bad WiFi connections, these can lead to signals getting crossed in relationships.
- Fear: The boogeyman of vulnerability often has us high-tailing it away from intimacy.
The Great Wall of Feelings: Overcoming Intimacy Barriers
Building bridges over the moat of emotional detachment isn't for the faint of heart, but hey, we're brave—we've watched horror movies without the lights on.
- Recognizing Walls: Identifying and acknowledging our own fortresses.
- Chipping Away: It's about dismantling the barriers to emotional intimacy brick by brick, with patience and a smile.
So buckle up, dear heart warriors! We're on a quest to understand why we're playing keep away with the feels.
