Attachment Style Quiz
Throughout your life, your parents have been...
- Supportive, but not overbearing
- There for me sometimes, but criticized my emotional responses
- Unresponsive or neglectful toward my needs
- Inconsistent or overbearing when attending to my needs
Your partner breaks up with you. How do you respond?
- I pretend I don't care.
- Beg them to stay
- I'm sad about it, but I move on eventually.
- I'm not surprised, but I can't decide whether to be devastated or relieved that it's over.
Your best friend is going through a tough time. How do you support them?
- I don't see the issue. I question why they can't just let it go.
- I ask them what kind of help they need and find ways to take care of them without sacrificing my personal needs.
- I try to be there for them, but to make sure I don't get too wrapped up in it myself, I poke fun at them for being so distressed.
- I'm immediately anxious for them. I spend most of my time trying to help them in any way I can and might even forget about my needs.
You've met someone you'd like to date. How do you approach the situation?
- I text them consistently until we get too close, and then I ignore them.
- Wait for them to approach me and feel like my mood depends on whether or not they do.
- Pretend I don't care. I don't let them see how I feel about them.
- I strike up a conversation and take my time getting to know them.
They've asked you out! Externally, you...
- Jump for joy and immediately try to organize a date.
- Act aloof, and wait for them to make the next move.
- Act excited, but leave them to actually plan the date.
- Are very happy! You decide on a place and time that works for both of you.
But internally, you...
- Are suspicious of their intentions and already see how this relationship could end.
- Immediately start to feel anxious. Now that you've got them, how do you keep them in your life?
- Are a bit nervous, but excited to see where this goes.
- Try to suppress any emotions, good or bad.
How do you act in arguments with your friends or partners?
- I find it easy to regulate my own emotions and work together toward a solution.
- I make fun of them or use sarcasm so they can't see how afraid I am.
- Do everything I can to please them and achieve a secure feeling in the relationship.
- I shut down and detach myself.
Your attachment style usually attracts you to certain types of partners. Who do you normally date?
- I have always dated people who end up pulling away from me.
- I date people who are secure in themselves and truly want to be with me.
- I attract clingy partners.
- Sometimes I date people who are dismissive, and sometimes I date people who are obsessed with me.
How do you react when your partner tries to help you with your problems?
- I feel like I need their help, but I'm afraid of it at the same time.
- I rely on them as much as I can and feel like I can't get through this situation without them.
- I openly receive their help but know that I can get through this on my own.
- I push them away. I can do this myself.
In your experience, most of your personal relationships have been...
- Rocky and dramatic. I've experienced many highs and lows.
- Short-lived or nonexistent
- Great at first, but scary once I start to worry that my partner will leave.
- Learning experiences where I've enjoyed spending time with my partner.
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Attachment Style Quiz
Attachment theory was developed by psychologists John Bowlby and Mary Ainsworth to explain how our relationships with our caregivers affect our adult relationships. Whether we got the support we needed and had healthy behavior modeled for us in our youth can affect the way we approach romantic and platonic relationships in adulthood.
Because attachment theory is so closely connected to your relationships, knowing your attachment style may help you improve your mental health. Are you secure, anxious, fearful-avoidant, or a combination of many?