Are You Drunk?
It's 3am, do you think this is a reasonable time to make phone calls?
- Yes, I've got some important points to make
- It would be inconsiderate
- Do I have the time zones reversed again? I thought it was only 12
- No, but texting is ok
Do you need to pee urgently?
- Not if I don't think about it
- I'm all good
- If someone says "waterfall" one more time...
- Only because I'm drinking beer
Do you plan to end it with your job and/or significant other tomorrow (or tonight if you can reach them)?
- Sometimes I'm unhappy but I know overall I have a good thing
- No, I need to line up a new one first
- Yes, I never realized how miserable I am till just now
- I'm so charming I can find a new one easily!
Could you be moved to tears right now?
- It's just that the TV movie we saw Thursday night was very sad
- Yes, by just about anything
- No, I recognize that other people have bigger problems than I do
- To think that someday we won't all be together like we are tonight
Do you suspect it's a poor idea to drive home?
- No, as the designated driver I have remained sober
- I've called a cab
- I'd have to stop drinking now
- I'm the king of the world!
Does cheap wine or a drink you've never previously enjoyed taste good?
- Mmm, hard lemonade
- Franzia is surprisingly tasty
- No, I have a discriminating palate and won't get drunk on just anything
Do you feel you could take on the world?
- Yes, as I said, I'm the king of it
- No, the deck is stacked against me
- As soon as the world around me stops spinning
- I have my strengths and my weaknesses just like everyone else
Do you feel unusually clever?
- Damn, I'm witty
- I should do stand up comedy!
- About as funny as usual
- Are you laughing at or with me?
Did you just proposition anyone?
- Just my buddy over here
- I don't generally swing that way but they're so good looking
- No, I think it's important that a sexual relationship is built over time
- I would never take advantage
Did you share too much information?
- Don't you think my vulnerability makes me charming?
- My secrets go to the grave, not the bar
- It's ok, they won't remember
- My strategy is to drink slowly and let other people spill