Are You Drunk?
It's 3am, do you think this is a reasonable time to make phone calls?
- Yes, I've got some important points to make
- It would be inconsiderate
- Do I have the time zones reversed again? I thought it was only 12
- No, but texting is ok
Do you need to pee urgently?
- Not if I don't think about it
- I'm all good
- If someone says "waterfall" one more time...
- Only because I'm drinking beer
Do you plan to end it with your job and/or significant other tomorrow (or tonight if you can reach them)?
- Sometimes I'm unhappy but I know overall I have a good thing
- No, I need to line up a new one first
- Yes, I never realized how miserable I am till just now
- I'm so charming I can find a new one easily!
Could you be moved to tears right now?
- It's just that the TV movie we saw Thursday night was very sad
- Yes, by just about anything
- No, I recognize that other people have bigger problems than I do
- To think that someday we won't all be together like we are tonight
Do you suspect it's a poor idea to drive home?
- No, as the designated driver I have remained sober
- I've called a cab
- I'd have to stop drinking now
- I'm the king of the world!
Does cheap wine or a drink you've never previously enjoyed taste good?
- Mmm, hard lemonade
- Franzia is surprisingly tasty
- No, I have a discriminating palate and won't get drunk on just anything
Do you feel you could take on the world?
- Yes, as I said, I'm the king of it
- No, the deck is stacked against me
- As soon as the world around me stops spinning
- I have my strengths and my weaknesses just like everyone else
Do you feel unusually clever?
- Damn, I'm witty
- I should do stand up comedy!
- About as funny as usual
- Are you laughing at or with me?
Did you just proposition anyone?
- Just my buddy over here
- I don't generally swing that way but they're so good looking
- No, I think it's important that a sexual relationship is built over time
- I would never take advantage
Did you share too much information?
- Don't you think my vulnerability makes me charming?
- My secrets go to the grave, not the bar
- It's ok, they won't remember
- My strategy is to drink slowly and let other people spill
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Tipsy vs Drunk
People in the United States like to drink. According to a 2015 national survey, more than 86 percent of people ages 18 and older say they’ve had alcohol at some point in their lifetime. More than 70 percent had an alcoholic drink in the past year, and 56 percent drank in the past month.