The “Designing Women” will always be hot, sexy, hilarious, and timeless. And so are you, if you’re one of them. Find out how belle of the South you really are! Your BFF loves a sofa covered with giant purple and yellow flowers. What do you say to her? I tell her it's beautiful. I ask her if she's had an eye exam recently. I roll my eyes and make subtle finger-in-throat gestures. I offer to help move it in. Your dance partner looks like he shaved with a cheese grater... I politely excuse myself and ask to take a different class. I giggle nervously and try not to stare. I spend the hour wondering what I'm being punished for. I complete the lesson with him, complementing him on his moves. Someone in your carpool always talks about their great date the night before. How do you feel? I want to choke them. I wish I were just like them. I tell them over and over that they are so worthy.... I ask them if they carry condoms. I'm happy for them, really. When someone opens the door for you... I thank them. I nod and smile ever so slightly. I sail past him without a glance. I thank them for being polite since so few people are. I pretend they didn't. How do you dress when you're invited to a party? A bit shiny. To stand out in the crowd. To show everyone how it's done. To draw attention to my plastic surgeon's skills. To be comfortable. If you're late to work and your boss taps their watch as you walk by... I pretend I don't see them. I get a bit shaky and nauseous. I give them an apologetic, about-to-cry look. I shoot baby eye daggers at them and curl my lip. It's a cold, icy day, so... I wear my Manolo Blahniks anyway. I get a migraine and don't go out. Pretend to work while surfing island travel destinations. I don rubber barn boots with felt lining. When you come back from vacation having gained five pounds... I never gain five pounds, darling. I run five grumbling miles every day for a week. I have people to take care of that.... I eat a half gallon of ice cream then go on a diet. Your BFF is having an affair with their boss. Your thoughts? I hope they are being discreet. Ugh, that's so common. They'll ruin everything. Well, they are just like that (sigh). Give some sexy makeup tips. You're asked to watch your neighbor's kids while she goes to the store. What do you do? I throw them a pool party and have a blast. I don't babysit. I can't, I have to do my nails. I explain she should introduce her children to the finer points of shopping.