How do you make a Kleenex dance?
- Play the rhythm and tissues
- Put a little boogie in it
- Shake it out
- Tell it a Dad joke
Did you get a haircut?
- A haircut? No, I got them all cut.
- Yes, Bob gave me a bob.
- No, the barber was already busy.
- That's not my hair!
Can February march?
- Only on Presidents' Day
- It's too cold to go outside
- March, no, but April may
- Who's February, and where does she want to go?
What time did the man go to the dentist?
- A quarter before three
- Tooth hurt-y
- Two thirty
- When he needed a check-up
What do you call a fish with no eyes?
- A blindfish
- An eyespot pufferfish
- A nightfish
How does a penguin build his house?
- Igloos it together.
- Very carefully
- With velcro. It's a total rip-off.
- With twigs
When does a joke become a dad joke?
- When it's full of cheese
- When it becomes apparent
- When it makes a faux pa
- When it's a joke about construction
Why did the scarecrow win an award?
- Because it was a funny one
- Because he says what they want to hear
- Because he was outstanding in his field
- Because it was the best one the boy's father ever made
Why was the cemetery so popular?
- Because it was a nice place to sit while reading a book
- Because they have the best R.I.P. address
- Because the dead have no standards
- Because people were dying to get in
My wife is really mad at the fact that I have no sense of direction, so I...
- Packed up my stuff and right
- Left for South Carolina
- Tunneled to the center of the earth
- Asked her not to call me pointless
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Dad jokes are stereotypically short, bad, and told by middle-aged dads. They rely on puns or one-liners. For example, what do you call a fake noodle? An impasta.
Some people tell dad jokes with an ironic air, and others actually love their inoffensive humor. But you don't have to be a father to find some of these jokes funny.