Are You A City Slicker Or A Country Bumpkin?

So, what’ll it be? A life out in the country with fresh air and home-cooked meals? Or do you prefer big city life, replete with all the modern cultural delights? Take the quiz to see where you belong!

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Question 1/30

If you go to a bar and it’s seven bucks for a beer and twelve bucks for a cocktail, you…

  • Order a drink! This place is cheap!
  • Are you kidding? I get the hell out
  • I find the owner… and punch him square in the face
Question 2/30

And where do you wanna get your fruits and veggies from?

  • The supermarket
  • My neighbor
  • I'll just grow my own!
Question 3/30

When you’re driving around you’ll probably see a tractor OR a trailer, but what are the odds that you’ll see a tractor AND a trailer on the same trip?

  • 1:1
  • 1:5
  • 1:10
  • 1:Never
Question 4/30

How do you get around town?

  • I drive
  • Cabs/Uber
  • Public transit
  • Bike
  • I walk a lot
  • Tractor
Question 5/30

You’re invited to a potluck at a friend’s house, what’re you bringing?

  • Alcohol
  • A homemade casserole
  • Something exotic
  • A veggie tray I picked up at the supermarket
  • Dessert… always dessert
Question 6/30

Time to eat! Who do you want preparing your next meal?

  • Professionally trained chefs
  • Food truck folk
  • Fast-Food Employees
  • Someone's Grandma
Question 7/30

Which view would you prefer waking up to each morning?

  • Ah... the city!
  • Gorgeous mountains
  • Fertile farmland
  • A vibrant ethnic neighborhood
  • Suburbia!
Question 8/30

What kind of animals do you own?

  • Cats
  • Dogs
  • Birds
  • Reptiles
  • Varmints
  • Livestock
Question 9/30

What are you most likely to see in your nearest “downtown” area?

  • Empty storefronts
  • Crazy traffic
  • People
  • A murder
Question 10/30

How often does the pastor see you in church?

  • Almost never
  • Sometimes
  • Every Sunday
  • A few times a week
Question 11/30

What's your idea of a traffic jam?

  • Too many cars
  • Too many cows
Question 12/30

Ever been mugged?

  • Yep. I don’t recommend it!
  • Nope
Question 13/30

Where are you guaranteed to see your neighbors?

  • At the grocery store
  • On my porch… if I’m barbecuing
  • At church
  • At Friday’s football game
Question 14/30

Which interior home decor do you prefer?

  • Modern, but a little homey
  • Ultra-modern and sleek
  • Country style, nice and homey
  • Your grandma's living room
  • None of these... yuck...
Question 15/30

When was the last time you mowed your own lawn?

  • What’s a lawn?
  • I have people for that
  • Yesterday… and I mowed my neighbor’s lawn, too!
Question 16/30

And what's your idea of a fun Saturday night?

  • Clubbing
  • Rocking
  • Getting drunk with the locals
  • Just you, your truck, and the open country
  • Falling asleep on the couch
Question 17/30

What thought makes you feel more lonely?

  • Too many people I don't know, all in the same place!
  • Empty road that stretches for miles and miles with no people in sight!
  • I don't want either!
Question 18/30

What is the FFA?

  • The Future Farmers of America
  • The folks who regulate airlines
  • The folks who regulate TV and radio
  • Who cares?
Question 19/30

How much time do you spend in the great outdoors?

  • Most of the time
  • Not as much as I’d like
  • What’s the outdoors and why is it so “great?”
Question 20/30

And if you do happen to get back to nature, what do you do?

  • Go to the beach
  • Camp, hunt, fish… the usual stuff
  • Glamp
  • Tan
Question 21/30

Which sort of architecture do you find most pleasing to the eye?

  • Country estates
  • Modern skyscrapers
  • Old urban neighborhoods
  • Old shacks in the middle of nowhere
  • Shopping malls with big sales
Question 22/30

Where do you do most of your clothes shopping?

  • Places like Nordstrom or Macys
  • Wal-Mart
  • Target
  • Tractor Supply
  • Wherever there’s a sale!
Question 23/30

City dwellers and country folk alike enjoy some... "unique" dishes. Which of the following exotic foods would you most like to dig into?

  • Pickled pig's feet
  • Escargot
  • Roadkill sandwich
  • I wouldn't try any of this crap!
Question 24/30

What’s the “other white meat?”

  • Pork
  • Squirrel
  • Tofu
Question 25/30

When someone says, “Let’s go swimming” what do you picture?

  • A shimmering pool and a mojito
  • A shimmering ocean and a boogie board
  • A shimmering river and a beer
  • A shimmering lake and a rope swing
Question 26/30

How many guns do you own?

  • None
  • 1-5
  • 5-10
  • None of yer damn business, Fed!
Question 27/30

How often do you see your extended family (aunts, cousins, etc.)?

  • Almost never
  • Occasionally… like holidays
  • Pretty often
  • Damn near every day
Question 28/30

You’re out at a restaurant, what non-alcoholic drink do you order?

  • Sweet tea
  • Soda pop
  • A glass of water is fine
  • Bottled water is better
  • A kale and beet smoothie with a shot of acai juice
Question 29/30

What's your idea of expanding your cultural horizons?

  • Visiting a museum or gallery
  • Attending a play or other performance
  • Eating out at the local Chinese buffet
Question 30/30

Which of these do you love most about where you live?

  • The people
  • The slow pace
  • The fast pace
  • I just love the vibe

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