When it comes to dating, some of us are players and some of us are getting straight played. Which side of the game are you on? I had a little too much to drink last weekend. I woke up…. with like five random text messages from numbers I don’t have stored as contacts.. with a taco under my pillow.. with a random in my bed again... oops!. and deleted my call history, I can’t believe I drunk dialed my ex!. Totally hydrated and with fresh breath!. The rich and famous get all the babes. My hero is… Jay Z. Dan Bilzerian. Hugh Hefner. Brian Austin Green. Dating sites are… too complicated, I don’t have the patience to sort through all those losers. . meat markets and I’m prepping for a BBQ baby!!. not really how I’d like to meet “the one”, but I’m sure they work for some people.. the best thing that ever happened to dating, I meet hotties all the time!. Have you ever dated two friends at the same time? Dating friends is for amateurs, try twins!. What about one right after the other? . Oh come on! How would that even work?. I did that in college. They weren’t amused when they found out.. You’ve gone out on two dates with this person. This person then drops by unexpectedly. You… practically call the police. WTF stalker!. let them in, that’s so romantic! It’s like a rom com came to life!. hide your other date in the bathroom and tip toe to the peephole to make sure the drop-by retreats.. are confused. Did we make plans? . If you’re not into someone who’s pursuing you, you… ignore their texts.. call them and explain why you’re not a match.. you don’t want to be rude and brush them off so you keep responding to their texts but nothing beyond that.. might hang out with them a few times anyway just to solidify their spot in your back pocket.. Lying is… A sin.. The only way I can survive casual dating. People don’t want to hear as much as they think they do. . I lie about my sex number and always deny that my friends look fat (even if they do), but those are productive things to lie about.. For cowards. Honesty and trust are what deep relationships are built on.. Think about how many people you’ve slept with… I feel proud. Do you want to see the list? . I can count them on one hand.. I’m cringing. Inside and out. . Oh who cares about the “number!” That doesn’t mean anything.. Which most applies to you? I’ve snuck away from the bar alone to head home for some peace and quiet.. I have copied and pasted the same text to multiple people at once to see who will respond first about hanging out. . If I’m going out then I’m coming home with someone cute-ish, no matter what.. I might have my eye on a couple different babes at the bar and then see who responds best to me before I ask for any numbers.. Let’s talk about the walk of shame. If I stay at someone else’s house, I vanish before the light of dawn breaks and ninja myself home.. I have a couple major walk of shame moments. But I wasn’t ashamed.. Gross. So trashy. I usually stay for breakfast anyway.. Oh I get a ride from whoever I went home with..