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How English Are You?

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Question 1/10

The art of queueing, have you mastered it?

  • You mean, like, queueing MP3s? Of course!
  • “Art”? Aren’t you taking standing in line a bit too seriously?
  • It’s the only thing holding this great nation together!
Question 2/10

You decide to have a look in the sweets shop and are bewildered to discover that you have accidentally waltzed into the cheese shop instead. What happens next?

  • You exit and head to the sweets shop, of course.
  • Utterly embarrassed, you mumble an apology and head off to find the sweets shop.
  • You pretend to peruse their selection before settling on a bit of Red Leicester.
Question 3/10

Binge drinking. Your thoughts?

  • It's dangerous
  • Lager louts are rather unseemly representations of Englishness
  • I don't have many thoughts when I'm drinking. Speaking of which... fancy a pint?
  • Well, it's pretty English innit?
Question 4/10

Cricket is…

  • A chirpy little insect
  • A snoozefest
  • Completely impenetrable
  • A delightfully engaging and gentlemanly pastime
Question 5/10

What do you spread on your toast, then?

  • Butter
  • Jam
  • Marmite, of course
  • Something else
Question 6/10

Do you take milk in your tea?

  • Yes
  • No
  • I don't drink tea!
  • Has the world gone mad? Tea without milk?
Question 7/10

Will England have a shot at the next FIFA World Cup?

  • Not likely
  • Underdogs, perhaps
  • Yes, I predict we'll win it all next time!
Question 8/10

Speaking of football, what separates the men from the boys and the winners from the losers?

  • Coaching
  • Chemistry
  • Talent, of course
  • Pure heart
Question 9/10

The Royal Family...

  • An unfortunate distraction
  • Good for a bit of gossip
  • An utter embarrassment
  • A powerful symbol of England’s past and present glory
Question 10/10

You friend’s dog has died and they’ve been reduced to a blubbering mess. This makes you feel…

  • Sad for my friend, of course.
  • Motivated to cheer them up!
  • Horrifically awkward and eager to extricate myself from this very unfortunate situation.
  • Like I ought to be making tea.

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