The art of queueing, have you mastered it?
- You mean, like, queueing MP3s? Of course!
- “Art”? Aren’t you taking standing in line a bit too seriously?
- It’s the only thing holding this great nation together!
You decide to have a look in the sweets shop and are bewildered to discover that you have accidentally waltzed into the cheese shop instead. What happens next?
- You exit and head to the sweets shop, of course.
- Utterly embarrassed, you mumble an apology and head off to find the sweets shop.
- You pretend to peruse their selection before settling on a bit of Red Leicester.
Binge drinking. Your thoughts?
- It's dangerous
- Lager louts are rather unseemly representations of Englishness
- I don't have many thoughts when I'm drinking. Speaking of which... fancy a pint?
- Well, it's pretty English innit?
- A chirpy little insect
- A snoozefest
- Completely impenetrable
- A delightfully engaging and gentlemanly pastime
What do you spread on your toast, then?
- Marmite, of course
- Something else
Do you take milk in your tea?
- I don't drink tea!
- Has the world gone mad? Tea without milk?
Will England have a shot at the next FIFA World Cup?
- Not likely
- Underdogs, perhaps
- Yes, I predict we'll win it all next time!
Speaking of football, what separates the men from the boys and the winners from the losers?
- Talent, of course
- Pure heart
The Royal Family...
- An unfortunate distraction
- Good for a bit of gossip
- An utter embarrassment
- A powerful symbol of England’s past and present glory
You friend’s dog has died and they’ve been reduced to a blubbering mess. This makes you feel…
- Sad for my friend, of course.
- Motivated to cheer them up!
- Horrifically awkward and eager to extricate myself from this very unfortunate situation.
- Like I ought to be making tea.