How Far Would You Go in Stand-Up Comedy?
Everybody loves to laugh, but making people laugh on command is a tough living. Can you put up with the drunk hecklers, the cheapskate bookers, and the trauma of bombing in front of a roomful of strangers? Take our quiz and find out how far you would go in stand-up comedy!
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Question 1/10
If you weren't a standup comic, what would you be doing?
- Hustling in the service industry, studying up for something bigger
- A salesperson — I like talking to people
- I would rather stay in school forever
- I have no idea what else I would do!
Question 2/10
You've got a big set in a few months in front of a booker for a major TV network. How do you find your best material?
- Long, long hours of racking my brain and breaking down ideas
- Test it out at a lot of smaller shows
- Watch some of the most successful comics, and put my own spin on it
- Oh, god, I didn't think of that
Question 3/10
How do you react when the joke's on you?
- I get a little miffed, but I don't let it show
- Get mad and swear my revenge
- Get embarrassed and leave the room
- Play into it, and keep them laughing
Question 4/10
Fear and laughter are often linked. What are you most afraid of?
- People not paying attention to me
- People not respecting me
- Starving
- Being humiliated
Question 5/10
Knock-knock:
- Heh. I got something for this!
- Who's there?
- Hey, I'm supposed to be the comic here!
Question 6/10
A club owner stiffs you on your performance fee, but offers you free drinks all night instead. What do you do?
- Try to sell off my drinks and get some cash
- Punch that double-crosser right in the face
- Roll with it and get drunk
- Don't burn any bridges, but be sure never to book that club again
Question 7/10
Sometimes looks can kill in standup. How attractive are you?
- I'm not the most attractive person in the world, but I'm cool with how I look
- Eeek!
- I could star in a Hollywood romantic comedy
- That's kind of a personal question, ok?
Question 8/10
Uh-oh! You've got your first heckler! A drunk guy in the back of the room is saying you're not funny. What's your move?
- Tell a few jokes at his expense, and continue with my set
- Go hard, and burn him so bad he never talks in public again
- Avoid the confrontation and leave the stage
- Bring him on stage, and let him see how funny he is in front of people
Question 9/10
Which of these professional comics would be your role model?
- Sarah Silverman
- Gallagher
- Jerry Seinfeld
- Louis C.K.
- Tom Hanks
Question 10/10
And finally, anyone who's been a working comedian knows, "never date another comic". That said, would you ever date another comic?
- You know what, I'll take what I can get
- Wait, that means that if I'm a comic, nobody should date me? I resent the implication!
- Only if it's someone who can help me with my career
- Sure, it sounds easier than being one
