How Far Would You Go in Stand-Up Comedy?

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Question 1/10

If you weren't a standup comic, what would you be doing?

  • Hustling in the service industry, studying up for something bigger
  • A salesperson — I like talking to people
  • I would rather stay in school forever
  • I have no idea what else I would do!
Question 2/10

You've got a big set in a few months in front of a booker for a major TV network. How do you find your best material?

  • Long, long hours of racking my brain and breaking down ideas
  • Test it out at a lot of smaller shows
  • Watch some of the most successful comics, and put my own spin on it
  • Oh, god, I didn't think of that
Question 3/10

How do you react when the joke's on you?

  • I get a little miffed, but I don't let it show
  • Get mad and swear my revenge
  • Get embarrassed and leave the room
  • Play into it, and keep them laughing
Question 4/10

Fear and laughter are often linked. What are you most afraid of?

  • People not paying attention to me
  • People not respecting me
  • Starving
  • Being humiliated
Question 5/10

Knock-knock:

  • Heh. I got something for this!
  • Who's there?
  • Hey, I'm supposed to be the comic here!
Question 6/10

A club owner stiffs you on your performance fee, but offers you free drinks all night instead. What do you do?

  • Try to sell off my drinks and get some cash
  • Punch that double-crosser right in the face
  • Roll with it and get drunk
  • Don't burn any bridges, but be sure never to book that club again
Question 7/10

Sometimes looks can kill in standup. How attractive are you?

  • I'm not the most attractive person in the world, but I'm cool with how I look
  • Eeek!
  • I could star in a Hollywood romantic comedy
  • That's kind of a personal question, ok?
Question 8/10

Uh-oh! You've got your first heckler! A drunk guy in the back of the room is saying you're not funny. What's your move?

  • Tell a few jokes at his expense, and continue with my set
  • Go hard, and burn him so bad he never talks in public again
  • Avoid the confrontation and leave the stage
  • Bring him on stage, and let him see how funny he is in front of people
Question 9/10

Which of these professional comics would be your role model?

  • Sarah Silverman
  • Gallagher
  • Jerry Seinfeld
  • Louis C.K.
  • Tom Hanks
Question 10/10

And finally, anyone who's been a working comedian knows, "never date another comic". That said, would you ever date another comic?

  • You know what, I'll take what I can get
  • Wait, that means that if I'm a comic, nobody should date me? I resent the implication!
  • Only if it's someone who can help me with my career
  • Sure, it sounds easier than being one

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